Tonight was Star Wars Night at the local baseball club.
And yeah — it was late.
But being out there with my wife, laughing, cheering, just living for a few hours… it meant more than most people will ever know.
From the outside, we probably looked like any other couple enjoying a night out.
What people don’t see is everything it takes behind the scenes to make a simple night like this possible.
For us, the planning started a month ago.
Dialysis isn’t something you just “fit in.” It dictates everything — timing, food, energy, how my heart feels, how my body handles fluid, how much recovery time I need. To make tonight work, I had to schedule a 7 a.m. Saturday treatment, giving my body the hours it needs afterward to settle from the strain, the fluid shifts, the phosphorus and potassium swings.
I had to watch what I ate all day so I wouldn’t pull too much fluid and end up feeling awful after treatment.
I had to think ahead, plan ahead, and hope my body cooperated.
People often think dialysis is a treatment — something you go to, sit through, and leave.
But it’s not.
It’s a lifestyle, and it’s demanding in ways that don’t show up on the surface.
And here’s the part most people never see:
Nights like this — the ones that feel normal, the ones that remind me I’m still me — are getting harder to pull off. Dialysis keeps me alive, but it also takes a lot from me. I’m doing everything I can to stay strong, stay hopeful, and stay present in my life… but I can’t do this forever.
I’m searching for a living kidney donor — someone who could give me the chance to have more nights like this without all the planning, the strain, the recovery, the constant calculations. Someone who could help me get back pieces of life that dialysis slowly takes away.
I don’t share this for sympathy.
I share it because this is the truth behind the smiles in the stands tonight.
I’m grateful for every moment I get.
I’m hopeful for the moments still ahead.
And I’m holding onto the belief that somewhere out there, someone might be willing to help me write the next chapter of my life.