When I proposed to my beautiful bride, now wife, on top of a mountain overlooking a vineyard and an apple orchard, neither of us imagined that so much of our time together would be spent in hospitals, surgery centers, or a dialysis clinic. I never imagined watching my wife practice how to place a needle in an arm, or learning how to prepare my dialysis machine and supplies.
When you ask someone to marry you, you don’t picture the “in sickness” part of the vows. We thought we had more time — more time to travel, more time to explore, more time to simply be us.
Then everything crashed down like a wave:
“Your kidney has failed. You need to start dialysis.”
That moment began a journey filled with hope, setbacks, and lessons I’ll share in another post.
My wife was strong — unbelievably strong — but I knew she was just as afraid as I was. We were both asking the same questions:
How much longer do I have? What will our life look like now?
It’s been three years on dialysis. And every transplant evaluation feels the same. They walk us through the numbers — not predictions, just national averages — but they still hit hard:
– Life expectancy on dialysis: Many patients live 5–10 years, though some live longer.
– Life expectancy with a deceased‑donor kidney: A transplanted kidney typically lasts 10–15 years, often adding meaningful years of life compared to dialysis.
– Life expectancy with a living‑donor kidney: Living‑donor kidneys often last 15–20+ years, with the best long‑term outcomes and survival.
Hearing those numbers — those years — never gets easier. Each time brings new fear, new hope, and the same question echoing in my mind:
Will I live long enough to receive a kidney?
My wife and I carry those fears together. She stays by my side through every appointment, every treatment, every setback. She’s no longer just listed as “spouse” on my medical records — she’s listed as “caregiver.”
It’s a huge responsibility, and not one she takes lightly.
She shows up. She learns. She advocates. She loves.
And together, we keep moving forward — hoping for more years, more memories, and more time to simply be us again.
Please Share This
Even if you cannot donate, sharing my story may reach the one person who can. Every share expands the circle of hope, and that simple act could be the reason I get the chance to live a longer, fuller life with my wife.
Three Years on Dialysis: Why Sharing This Matters
